Friday, December 10, 2010

Story of Begging Forgiveness

Raindrops correcting my face,
Tapping at my eyes, patient,
Unconcerned with waste,
Stroking my neck from chin
To breastbone when I raise my head.

Sun rays breaking apart clouds,
Radiantly breathtaking,
Burning away sounds
That had formed my bass line,
Stepping with my stumbling steps.

Released from reality,
I wove together threads of
A new piety
Combining naturally
Snake and tightrope walker
With leaves I collected roving.

Seldom did I need to turn
And reflect on what I left;
The rain had taught me
This new way to stand still
And cleanly in the river's run.

Rampantly reading between
All the lines I drew for
Your supposed pleasure,
Those days I trampled you,
Those days I walked oblivious.

Teardrops standing before me
On your eyelashes and cheeks,
Burn away my dreams,
Slap me awake brutally.
Radiantly suffocating,

Raining on me with cold truth,
Realization shivers my
Body to its soul.
I was indifferent
Until now, and I finally



  1. With poetry this good, you're certain to be forgiven. Nice take on the prompt.

  2. That is very powerful piece you have written there abigail. I like the build and the end. You can almost feel the emotion behind the ben on this one. Each verse has so much meaning when you read it. thank you for sharing. Im sure it was a tough poem to write.

  3. Abigail, such a well written poem on a deep subject. "The rain had taught me this new way to stand still and cleanly in the river's run" lines are brilliant! You build the tension wonderfully in the successive stanzas until the last two hit it straight home. Wonderful writing! (Do you find the hardest person to forgive is oneself? But we must, for we are all only too human:) )

  4. I was indifferent
    Until now, and I finally

    Forgiveness ...

    powerful transformation!
    well done.

  5. Well crafted - I agree with Jingle - powerful ending.

  6. Abagail,
    A very powerful and expressive poem. Written with great emotion.
    A difficult subject to put into words, but you have done so very well.


  7. what a profound, intense poem... well done!

  8. touching and very beautiful.
    your skill in creating an image and a feeling

  9. Rain on me with cold truth...You painted this well; Great Imagery!

  10. wow! what a detailed, compelling portrait...

    "Released from reality, I wove together threads of a new piety"

    loved this line in particular, which evoked with visceral clarity the emotion of confessing my sins and praying for forgiveness.

    thanks for sharing!

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    Entry your entry here 4 Poets Rally Week 36 and sign agreement if you wish

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    Hope to see you in, Happy Friday, best wishes for the year of 2011.


  12. Very moving, and I really hope you shall be forgiven!
    Happy Holidays